good new and bad news

I expect most of you will already know this, but for those who don't...... my last visit to the Marsden showed that the cancer has gone from the bowel which was good news but unfortunately some cells have decided to take up residence in my right lung - what a bummer! Although it's in my lung, it is still bowel cancer which is quite bizarre, and the 2 nodes are very small - 12 and 9 millimetres. The bottom line is ( pardon the pun) that I start chemo therapy again this coming Tuesday every other week for 3 months, then I have surgery at the Brompton hospital in London followed by a further 3 months of chemo as before. So no holiday in the sun again for me this year which I was so looking forward to, never mind, more time for me to save up for that cruise I fancy.

Amongst all the negatives, like losing my hair, tiredness, diarrhoea and vomiting, there are lots of positives - it's curable, the summer's coming so sun hats will be in, if I don't want to wear a hat sun cream is now made is ridiculously high factors so my head will be protected and I already know the staff on the day unit and am familiar with the surroundings at the Marsden. I have yet to decide whether it's a good thing or not that I am aware of the possible side effects, I'll have to revisit that thought ata later date.

One real negative for me is that they cannot reverse Fred & Hazel until all the treatment is finished, so I am stuck with them for a good few months yet with that surgery still to face at the end of it all. I think I may be mentally able to cope a bit better if that had been sorted, but this is not the case so I'll have to get on with it.

Amy and Kevin have been wonderful - full of positive resolve although poor Amy gets the brunt of my frustrations and tears, but then says she gets her strength from me so we both end up crying - what are we like!!

Will publish a post again later - all prayers welcome and thank you for the various suggestions I've already had re what to wear on my head (http://www.mulletwigs.net/acatalog/index.html is definately worth checking out for a laugh!!!!). love to anyone reading this x x x x x

If you want to know about the firemen..read on!

I went to see my surgeon yesterday to hopefully talk about getting Freddy reversed. Unfortunately this was not even an issue for him since an x-ray had shown that in fact where he had joined the bowel together in August has not completely healed. This means a 6 week wait to repeat the x-ray and then it will be reveiwed. This was so what I was not expecting to hear that I burst into tears and I'm not sure I actually heard the rest of what he said!

I did have a meeting with the stoma nurse afterwards who warned me that I won't even go on the waiting list for the reversal until my surgeon is happy with the healing process and then it could be another 3-4 months ........NO!!!!!!!! This will bring me up to about August and means I will have had Freddy for 12 months instead of 6, what a bummer ( if you'll pardon the expression). Because of the Hernia (Hazel as I have called it) they have organised some firm elastic knickers that have a high waist and therefore come up almost to my boobs; very unattractive but do the job of holding Fred and Hazel in and so phsychologically will be good. I tell you, Bridget Jones would kill for these pants and they are so not going on the washing line to dry!!!!!!!

Next week I have my scan and will get the results the week after so I hope that that brings slightly better news than yesterday.

One last thing that brought some brightness......I got stuck in the lift at work last week and had to call the fire brigade to let me out. There was never a morde welcome sight that the lift doors opening and seeing 4 firemen in full uniform waiting for me and before you ask, no, they did not have to give me a firemans lift!!

love to everyone who's reading this xxxx